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‘Sorry, Bess,’ was all he said. Then he had stood and walked off into the night. I had found him easily enough. He was sitting slumped on some rocks at the river’s edge. ‘Are you okay, Miles?’ ‘It’s me who should ask you that,’ he replied without looking up. I thought briefly at that point, about going back to Martin and sleep. I quickly dismissed the idea. I wasn’t likely to sleep. I sat down beside him. ‘I was in ‘Nam. I still have nightmares.’ With his head in his hands, he went on. ‘I can’t seem to shake them off. I guess I don’t deserve to be able to.’ ‘Why?’ A single quietly spoken word was all I could master at that point. ‘Some bad, unforgivable things happened in ‘Nam. And I did nothing to stop them. There were times when I stood by and watched them happen.’ ‘What kind of things?’ I didn’t really want to know but that morbid fascination took its hold on me. ‘Things you’d never understand. Hell, I don’t understand them myself.’ He shook his head then, in despair. I figured. "He wasn't wrong. I try bouncing on my toes, feeling the full weight ofmy body the process. My belly bounces up and down with the momentum, myflabby arms rippling in places I, only moments ago; had firm musclesinstead. It wasn't that I was a wrinkly fat (that would be too gross),because my body is, on the whole, quite smooth. Still, I feel veryuncomfortable right now."Are you absolutely sure this is necessary, Jay?" Look, I ordered a custom pack, okay? I input the number of kids yourmom's had, as well as your height, and this is what they sent. Even thewig is specially selected." I understand," I sigh, "and I'm grateful for your efforts, I reallyam." Okay," says Jay, "Three birds with one stone; "You put your headphoneson, and I'll get to work on your makeup and hair."Forget that idea," I protest. "Twice now you've had me listening tosubliminal hypnosis CD's and not once have I found the consequences tomy liking." I put my hands on my much rounder hips, very authority-like."I promise.
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